The day dawns bright and clear on the 65th Annual La Grange Pet Parade. Celebrity Grand Marshall is Johnny Knoxville! I WISH! Bears player Johnny Knox, really.
But seriously, Parade organizers, you couldn't think BIGGER? Ted McGinley, KITT from Knight Rider, the beloved Frasier Thomas. You've set a high standard in the past.
Or is my sports ignorance showing? Is this like scoring Elway as Grand Marshall in Denver? Talk to me in terms I know, Chicago, because as a sports town, you ain't much.
Oh, yes, I genuflect with the rest and best of 'em when I hear the Hallowed Names -- Ditka, Perry, Sweetness, even McMahon (who's no Elway). But, come on, Chicago, I can go to the grocery store during a regular season game and YOU'RE there. In Denver, I knew when the quarter ended because of the sudden mad rush to buy 3.2 beer at King Sooper's. I could PLAN my shopping unmolested Sundays in Denver.
But it's summer and we're talking Parades not recliners. And I'm sure Johnny Knox is a lovely man.
Oh, dear, now I feel bad -- I want Mr. Knox to feel welcome at Our Little Parade. Let me try again.
